i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
