I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize