Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
