So drunk its hurt
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
