Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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