Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
