We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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