my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
