No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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