we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize