My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
