Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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