i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
