That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize