Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
