Sry I called you an 8
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
