She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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