if you like me you must not know who I am
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
