Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
