Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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