I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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