Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
