I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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