is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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