D3 body, D1 cock
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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