I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
