my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
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