She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
