We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
third nipple confirmed
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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