I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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