weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
