Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
