Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
