I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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