I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
