I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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