Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
