Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
