Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
