Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
