What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She swung at the pinata with crutches
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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