I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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