i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
