I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
