Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Is it penis luge time yet?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
