I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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