So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize