I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize