We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
