i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
