hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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