come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
