It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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