I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
