Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
