dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
