My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
