please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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