I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
