why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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