I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
babies were throwing up all over the place
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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