Buhtt sex?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
