My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
